Between catching butterflies and tending to my stamp collection, there was nothing I enjoyed more as a boy than lowering my Huffy Sports Tuff Court portable basketball system to a moderate height, and throwing the pumpkin down hard.
“GET OFF ME!” (See Wayans Marlon, Above the Rim) I’d scream, while beating my birdcage chest and flipping off the opposition crowd of my mind’s eye. My curtain twitching neighbours must have thought me a strange, profane child.
Nowadays, I fill the power-dunk shaped void in my life by following the NBA. Unsurprisingly, there are some guys, both past and present, who have topped my driveway exploits.
Here are, to my mind, some of the best rim-rattling, robinzine-crying, teeth-shaking, glass-breaking, rump-roasting, bun-toasting, wham-bam (See Dawkins, Darryl) dunkers to have stepped foot in the league:
K-Mart
Dude clearly has issues with the rim. Big, horrible, ugly issues.
The Reignman
Probably my favourite dunker of all time, Shawn Kemp was pure, untamed energy. His sperm was fantastic too, apparently.
Chocolate Thunder
I’ve only seen the highlights, but highlights are all you need. Darryl Dawkins is the sole reason the NBA deemed it an offense to break backboards.
Ham Slamwich
Dunking is pretty much all Darvin Ham could do, but he did it pretty dunking well.
The Baby Eater
So what if Jason Maxiell eats babies? If eating a baby can make you dunk like that, serve me up a baby.
The Cable Guy
Sure, he never actually played in the league, but with dunks like this someone could have at least thrown a 10-day contact his way.
The Original Superman
Remember kids - before there was Hack-a-Shaq, there was Shaq attack.
Superman. The Second Coming
The higher you climb, the harder you fall. It’s pretty simple, really.
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